“You probably don’t remember me, but you have a very special place in my heart”.
These were the words that leapt out from a message received eighteen months ago from someone whose name I didn’t immediately recognise; as I read on the sender reminded me that eight years previously I had supported her and her baby to breastfeed. She went on to say that at a point of feeling low and defeated she had been very grateful that I had spent time just listening to her story, whilst gently supporting her to effectively attach her baby at her breast, enabling her to breastfeed, whilst talking through ways to increase her milk production.
I want to tell you that I do remember you; I remember sitting with you in your living room and listening to your story, your sorrow at not being able to breastfeed your baby so raw and heartfelt. I remember wanting so much to make a difference, change the outcome you thought was inevitable; our conversation a sharing of experiences whilst demonstrating effective positioning and attaching skills for you and your baby, discussing ways to increase your milk production to meet your baby’s needs. I also tentatively wondered if using a supplemental feeding aid would work - a method I’d only tried once or twice with mums after reading about it in specialist journals and textbooks. Could I be brave enough to suggest it, support its use? Would you have enough trust in my limited knowledge to try a technique you’d never heard of, least of all thought would work? As we chatted I watched as your demeaner changed from defeat to hope and your eyes lit up with the possibility of achieving your breastfeeding goals - inspired by timely information and achievable suggestions to take and turn into something positive and enabling.
I read your message with joy, and even today, sitting here thinking about it brings a smile to my face. What an incredible achievement after facing so many challenges for you to go on to breastfeed your daughter for two and a half years, and how grateful I am that you invited me to be even a small part of your journey, that I was able to share exactly the right information with you that enabled you to fulfil the aspirations you had as a new mum. Your message will always remind me that communication when supporting new mums and parents is so much more than a conversation, and requires compassionate listening skills, meaningful sharing of ideas, skills and experience and the ability to inspire confidence and belief, and can have an incredibly positive impact on both physical and mental health outcomes of both mum and baby.
Today I teach health professionals how to use a supplemental feeding aid, a method enabling baby to receive all the milk they need at the breast or chest at times when mum isn’t able to make all the milk their baby requires, whether temporary or more long term. I listen as those practitioners express the same curiosity I had all those years ago, wondering whether the opportunity to teach these skills will occur during their own practice, questioning how awkward it may feel teaching a new skill for the first time, learning whilst teaching, having the humility of knowing that the parent will become so much more skilled than the teacher when regularly using the supplemental feeding aid, and as a practitioner learning from each individual experience to become more confident the next time these skills are needed and taught.
Author Wendy Birtall
26th December 2025